Post Surgery: Day 15: May 1, 2018 – Triumphs & Worries

Triumphs & Worries of the day in no particular order:

1. Washed my hair on my own and got to lightly scrub where my staples were pulled yesterday. I keep finding more tape residue in my hair.

2. Got a photo of the area where the staples were pulled. It feels weird. While I am not embarrassed, it was a little bit of a shocker. It’ll look like railroad tracks for a while. Stare at it and ask me about it. There’s nothing wrong with that. Not saying anything will make things awkward and I am not shy about talking about stuff. For others, your scars are part of you. Most people are just curious and don’t think you’re ugly. Human nature.

3. Steristrips will fall off this week. If not, I get to pull them. Still looks like tamale skins.

4. Getting out of the bath was easy!

5. Brushing my hair and teeth hurt less

6. Putting on my pants and shirt hurt less

7. I wore jeans today! All day!

8. A goal for tomorrow is to wear a bra!

9. I walked outside and enjoyed the air touching my skin. I walked up and down our stairs and did the physical therapy exercises suggested

10. Eating is still hard and hasn’t improved since yesterday, along with talking regularly. No one can understand me on the phone. Jamie translates or I text. This is getting better, but is frustrating. Doc says this can take a couple months. I also can’t sing, which makes me sad. That may never return. Talk about the things that make you sad. This kind of surgery is life changing. It’s positive, but takes time to heal.

11. I’m still on soft foods and slow drinking of thin liquids. For those of you who know me, I will find a way to drink coffee! ☕️ I’ve eaten lots of pudding (of course chocolate and banana are my fave), cereal (carefully because of the milk), bananas, etc. Make sure to eat foods rich in fiber. Pain meds cause constipation. Don’t be embarrassed and let your doc know. There are plenty of natural ways to ease that and some soothing meds. I eat fiber and take Colace. I felt like I was going to die when I took the milk of magnesia. I eat way healthier now and it’s showing in my weight loss. Didn’t think I needed to lose, but if you think that’s a benefit, this may be a side effect.

12. I had egg drop soup and some summer rolls today and it was amazing! Real food. Thanks to my sis! I am nervous to eat meat, but I don’t miss it either. I’m not much of a meat eater, but love fish!

13. WORKED! Continued to catch up on emails and paperwork. Don’t feel like I did enough. Getting back in the groove is taking time. My coworkers are being great about helping me get back into it and updating me on all the projects. Remember not to be too hard on yourself. Do the best you can and make sure you talk about your doubts with someone.

14. Passed out for a nap. Not a triumph and felt a lot of guilt. Try not to beat yourself up. It’s your body healing. Talk about it with someone so it doesn’t fester.

15. Goal for tomorrow. No nap

16. Jamie and I picked Jacob up from the airport late this afternoon. Made me happy and being in the car made me a little less anxious. Today was my second time in the car (aware of it. no memory of ride home from hospital) since coming home from the hospital. I still have to wear my neck brace in public and especially cars.

17. I don’t have to wear my neck brace at home!

18. My sis stayed with me today because I was still a little nervous to be alone. My anxiety is lessening and I’ll feel fine tomorrow. I did all my hygiene stuff today, so all good and a definite triumph!

19. Watched a movie with Jacob and Jamie and enjoyed it

20. Shared a meal with Jacob and Jamie and enjoyed it

21. Ordered a special laptop lap desk and a blue tooth keyboard to make sure I keep my neck in the proper position while working. It also serves as a food tray!

22. I still look stoned in my photos. Don’t be hard on yourself. Pain meds do that and those won’t be forever. If someone is judging you, you don’t know it and forgive them. They’re doing the best they can.

23. I have to have a bone density test done this week or early next week to determine when I can drive. I NEED TO DRIVE! I MISS IT!

24. I can’t sleep. Too much on my mind and the pain. Mind racing isn’t getting better, but pain should subside with time and a new pillow coming tomorrow.

25. Even when you don’t want to, write it down and share it. If continues to help me heal

26. THANK THOSE WHO HELPED YOU IN SOME WAY TODAY! Jamie, Kathey, Jacob, Matt, John, Judy, Zoltan, Kevin and Sandie and Michael and Leon! I can’t forget Dori, who keeps my spirits up everyday!

Suicide Prevention

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