1. Had my bone density scan. Should have results next week. Let’s hope for good news. The tech has been doing her work for 36 years. I love history and she told me she was pre MRI and remembers when CT scans were 0s and 1s. I admire her! It was great hearing her story. Her exam room was quiet and peaceful and was one of my positives of the day.
2. It rained a lot today. I cried a lot for different reasons. I didn’t want to put on medical clothes for the bone density scan. I am just tired of tests. But, I’m also thankful I have a group of doctors who care about my health. That’s simply a new feeling for me.
3. I’m sad because of the pain today and my limitations for working and leaving my house. Even when you’re sad, write or talk to someone. Keep on doing what you’re doing because it’s easy to fall into a deep depression and that’s absolutely awful. It’s a human thing.
4. I’ve had struggles in my life and I’ve overcome all of them, and I remember that I eventually fought my way back. I had my village standing behind me. Your village changes throughout your life. But, I’ve got staples. Mom, Kathey, Judith and Jacob.
5. I watched The Post with Jamie and it was excellent in every way! I highly recommend it.
6. Jacob spent some quiet time with me today and I was fortunate to talk to my daughter for an extended time. I’ll get to see them both tomorrow
7. I’m going to my sister’s tomorrow in a controlled environment to see a lot of family. It makes me happy.
8. I watched an episode of How I Met Your Mother and it was incredibly funny.
9. I miss my children today. Yes, they are here, but, they have their own lives. But, today, I missed them more than usual. At the same time, I couldn’t be prouder of them. Life in your 20s is busy and stressful and sometimes overwhelming. It doesn’t really change in your 40s, but, I have the honor of being a Mom. That makes it worth it. I’m not trying to figure out who I am. I’m just continuing to try and improve myself and be a better person all the time. I’m not perfect. But, my core is my core. That doesn’t really change in a person.
10. I have started researching all the ways in which I need to change my lifestyle and it’s exciting and scary at the same time. I’m looking forward to some of the changes and I’m scared of the others. It’s ok to admit that you’re worried about success of some of the necessary changes. If I didn’t admit it, I would fail. I have a better chance if I’m honest with myself. I’ve learned that about myself.
11. My Mom made me laugh today and I needed a laugh. My sis had said the banana pudding was made and Mom said guacamole not made. It was just sweet and funny. They are making 2 of my fave things. I love my Mom’s egg salad sandwiches, too. She’s not making those. It’s just a happy thought. They’re the best and a very happy memory from my childhood.
12. I’ve just been very sad today. Jamie has been my shoulder in my sadness today. I couldn’t be luckier and more blessed. He hugged me as I cried in his arms. I haven’t had that with a partner….. ever. Who knew?
13. A friend of mine said he’d keep me in my prayers and it meant so much to me. He said prayers do crazy things. I call that faith, karma and sometimes, miracles. The power of positivity cures.
14. My pain level has been higher today, but I still did my allowed exercises and deep breathing. The weather change affects my metal. That will never change and I’m ok with it
15. My mind has really been focused on my job and it’s tiring. I am doing my best. I’m too tired to be completely paranoid today, which is a nice break.
16. My brother, Mike, is coming to my sister’s tomorrow, and when I found out, I cried a few tears of joy. I would like to think he’s coming for me and my son, Jacob, and now his son and daughter in law and kids. It will be nice to see them. I’m sure I’ll get sappy and there will be photos
17. My front of the neck scar already looks better.
18. My back of the neck scar is still pretty red, but it will get better.
19. I still can’t swallow, talk or laugh, but it’ll get better, and if not, I’ll have to go to a speech therapist, and we’ll figure it out there.
20. I found some pre-surgery photos that I have very little memory of. The outfit I’m wearing had a tube attached to it to make sure my body temp was acceptable for surgery. I also had to use these really weird wipes to make sure I was sterile and that was just the first round according to the nurses. I was asleep by then.
21. I realized the other day they had to shave some of my hair in the back and I’m surprised how far the scar goes up the back of my head. You can’t see that in the photos.
22. I slept for about 2 hours last night, so we’re back on the couch tonight.
23. I’m still nicotine free! I have no issue with it and no fear of going backwards, but I am having to find a way to redirect my stress. If I nicotine, my neck will NOT heal. Easy decision.
THANK YOU to these people who helped me in some way today! Jamie, Mom, Judy, Jacob, Kayla, Clayton, Wes, Mike, Dori, Zoltan
If you or anyone you know has any kind of cervical or lumbar spinal issues, the staff at Seton Brain & Spine Institute has everything you need. It’s a process, but very necessary! I had my 2nd neck surgery done there, but Dr. Eeric Truumees did this 3rd surgery, and he’s simply amazing, right along with his staff, Sarah, Ariel & Amy. Sarah never ceased to make me feel hopeful while I was in the hospital, and let me tell you, Dr. Truumees comes and checks on you, too! Great staff. Great crew. I recommend all the different doctors at that organization.