Updated: Day 30: May 16, 2018
30 days ago, my life changed. I didn’t know how it would at the time. I just knew it was changing. Major surgery will do that, no matter how it happens. I knew there were different options and I trusted Dr. Truumees to take care of me. I put my life and body into his hands and the rest of the Medical Team. Dr. Truumees had all the possible info he could have and he still wished he had more. He was very careful in the decision of surgery for me. Some surgeons are known to just cut, but Dr. Truumees doesn’t cut just for the thrill of it. Once he realized how complicated my case was, he made sure I knew all the possibilities. He was always honest, direct, but gentle about it. My case was right up his alley. He specializes in cases where there’s trauma, genetics and just unusual components. That only made me more at ease because I knew he had seen other complicated cases and I wasn’t alone. 7.5 hours later, he walked out drenched in sweat and reported to my family that I was in recovery, and what he had to do fix me.
I was terrified and calm all at the same time. But, I also knew I was in the best hands. So, to calm the scared side, I wrote “just in case” letters to those I love so they wouldn’t wonder how I felt or what I wanted. My fear wasn’t about dying. My fear is I would be taken and my loved ones wouldn’t have closure. They wouldn’t know what they meant to me or know what to do after my farewell. I spent about 3 weeks writing and preparing and by the time the day came, I was in good spirits. I had complete faith in the success, but, since I can’t tell the future, I prepared. I had it all planned and I am pretty sure I told Jamie under the influence of drugs what I had done. But, I had it all planned out like some spy. I didn’t want anyone to freak out that I was preparing for the worst, so I had a plan in place and everyone had a task to do. Writing to the people I love just made me love them more! Don’t wait to write letters to your loved ones. It’ll open you up really quickly. You don’t have to give them the letters. I certainly didn’t, but, they will be available for the day I do float away, and I’m sure by then, there will be more letters added to the pile. I will have known and met so many more people by then who will change my life in some way!
So surgery started at 7:30am and I got to my room around 6-7:00pm. For some of those hours, the hospital couldn’t tell my family where I was. Meanwhile, in Jennyville, I was coming around and I was panicked. I looked around and I was surprised to see Marshall, Lilly, Ted, Robin and Barney. They told me I needed to get a move on because my family was freaking out and they needed me to arrive in my room. I yelled out and asked what time it was…. it was 4:00pm. I told the nurse that the cast of How I Met Your Mother woke me up and I had to go. I vividly remember this event. I then remember getting up to my floor and crying upon seeing Judy, Kayla, Mom and Kathey. Then I think Judy and Kayla came in the room with me and the orderly told me to get in the room bed. I asked him if he’d like me to fly over there or hop over there? It took 5 people to get me to the room bed.
Physical therapy went well today! Stephanie was able to be a little more aggressive today with massaging my neck and shoulders. It was relaxing and it lowered my pain from an 8 to a 6.5. Friday is her last day. She’s a neat lady!
Day 3 Work Day: Sandie picked me up this morning and it was very nice riding with her to work and chatting about this and that. We caught up as I am usually out in the field. It a very relaxing start to my day. She’s an excellent driver! Smooth driver. I did pretty well today, although the pain was harder. It was ok pain because it meant I was busy getting back to life. I saw Wes and Meghan and I always enjoy seeing them! Sandie brought me home and brought my stuff in! I ate my bowl of mini-wheats, set up my computer and continued my day. It was busy and I enjoy being busy. There were some challenges, but they will be handled properly. Challenges happen. You just have to focus on the solution and then figure out how to avoid that possible outcome again in the future. So much of what we learn is based on our experiences – good and bad. Isn’t that why there are warnings about hot coffee being hot and instructions on how to wash your hair? Someone burned themselves and someone called the 800 number and asked the steps for washing hair. The hot coffee thing is silly, but I can imagine someone who has memory loss, dementia, brain damage and are embarrassed called that 800 number to avoid embarrassment. You never know what someone else is going through. One of my gifts is that I can put myself in others shoes. It’s actually something that makes me happy. I don’t think I have too many super powers I was born with, but the gift of helping others is one. My other gift that makes life interesting is my ability to know how to handle people based on their vibes. I don’t always take the steps, but I should always. Don’t be ashamed to feel good about what you’re good at. Being proud of yourself is vital to your success. I feel like society tells us that being proud of ourselves is arrogant. There’s a big difference between arrogance and self love. Both can be negative when in an extreme manner. But that’s but a few bad apples. It’s OK to love yourself. That only makes loving others easier.
Tomorrow is exciting. I get to have my daughter drive for me and take me to a doctors appt and then I’m headed to the jobsite for the first time since I had surgery. I won’t be there long, but it’s one more step toward getting back to normal!
Life is messy and wonderful and hard and there will also be heartache and intense joy and all things wrapped up into one present life. My village helps me navigate through it and I do the same in return. I couldn’t be more blessed! Ok, I’m signing off for today. If I’m missing words or whatnot, please forgive me. It’s been a long and productive day.
I’m always here if anyone needs an ear to listen.
THANK YOU to those who helped me in some way today! Jamie, Mom, Judy, Sandie, Wes, Meghan, Matt, Mark, Kevin, Stephanie, Dori, Michael, Michael (bro), Dad, Becky, Deea Emmons
#postsurgery #recovery #recoveryprocess #inspire #imback #strongerthanever #postspinesurgery