Day 34: May 20, 2018
My quote of the day:
“I’m a strong, badass chick with class and confidence.”
I am SUPER nervous about driving tomorrow! Send me your super power mojo! Thank you, in advance!
I woke up at around 10am. Judy dropped my car off and Jamie took her to work at 10:50. I woke up in quite a bit of pain. I woke up only once in the night, which is amazing. BUT, because of that, my pain level was higher than normal. My mood wasn’t great, so I apologized for not being my positive self. It was a hard morning. I was exhausted. I have decided to start weaning myself off the heavy duty I’m on. It’s absolutely tiring. Weaning off any med is hard, but weaning yourself off a heavy duty narcotic affects your mood, mind, body and pain. Just make sure those around you know what you’re doing. Make sure you talk to your doctor, as well. My body is physically addicted to this med now. So, time to work my way down to 0 mg per day!
DO NOT STOP TAKING NARCOTICS COLD TURKEY. It’s dangerous for your health, depending on how long and the dosage you’ve been on. If you need help and you don’t know where to turn and a doctor isn’t on your rolladex, see below. There is help and you’re not alone!
Locally – https://bridgetoshoreinterventions.com
I DROVE today! My above message is far more important than what I’m talking about now, but I drove around the neighborhood and did ok. I can’t turn my neck far enough to the right yet, but I can turn my body and make it work. I have to do the work to get my neck working better. Same with looking left. But, I did ok. My muscles were sore, but, I laid down when I got home and I’m ok! Tomorrow is going to be tough. Wish me luck! I’m terrified. I honestly don’t know if I’m ready, but I gotta do it sometime.
That was the most I did today. Drive. Wait. I did some laundry, too. I wish driving meant I was 100% healed, but I’ve got some months to go. I just hope tomorrow turns out ok.
I also have another checkup appointment with Dr. Truumees. I think they’ll do some bending X-rays and see how my hardware is performing. This is a big appointment!
I wouldn’t consider myself a romantic. I love love! I’m not very good at being romantic, but I love watching it, being part of it, watching people love one another. Why am I talking about romanticism? The Royal Wedding. I watched it yesterday. I am not usually into stuff like that, but, they love each other and he’s a prince and she’s this beautiful, smart, talented AMERICAN and a biracial queen!! You can’t fake love. When I first started paying attention to Prince Harry and Meghan, I was excited that Harry walked outside the stuffy norm of the Royal Family and found the love of his life, instead of following some rule book made up a thousand years ago. That takes courage. But, love conquers all, and these changes aren’t scary to either of them. They love each other and that will carry them through! I’m just so happy for the 2 of them. I hope this union inspires tolerance, love, acceptance and unity all over the world!
I grew up in a small Texas town, where race was a definite issue. I struggled with being friends with African Americans because somehow, I was doing something wrong. I just didn’t understand and I did what I wanted and ignored the terrible name calling from both sides. My friends were my friends. I didn’t care about color, sex, group (kickers, druggies, preps…..and so on). I liked who I liked. It was a town divided. I definitely got judged, but it was high school. Everyone judges. I’m a better person for it. I don’t know how it is in 2018, but intolerance is strong in all our communities. No place is perfect, but I left my small town with the wrong idea. In my mind, everywhere was like my town and I was afraid. It took me a while to realize the prejudice in my town didn’t represent everywhere. It also took me time to realize that not everyone in my small town was guilty of prejudice or intolerance and it came from both sides. I remember when I was in high school, maybe sophomore or junior year? I saw a biracial couple for the first time. When they walked down the hall, everyone stopped and stared, me included. I was terrified they were going to get hurt. I had so much fear and admiration for them. I don’t remember what happened to them. I just remember that I was absolutely terrified for their well-being. It took courage to walk the halls as a biracial couple. I had friends who dated biracially, but because of the stigma in our town, they hid it. I hope in 2018, couples of love aren’t ashamed or afraid to show it in my small town.
This is not an easy topic, but, it’s important to me. I made my share of judgments throughout my life, and I am proud to stand against prejudice of color, sexual orientation, sexual identity, gender, economic or social class (we’re all humans), mental illness, handicapped physically, mentally, people with addictions, battered women, battered men, rape survivors, survivors of any kind of abuse-just any prejudices that cause harm simply because “it’s how you grew up” or you don’t know what it means or know enough about it or you don’t believe. That’s not acceptable.
I know this may cause a ruckus, but, I ask that you not be ugly or disrespectful. I hope it doesn’t cause a ruckus because I’m preaching love and tolerance for those who are different.
It seems simple to me, but, I know it’s not. Years of heartache and abuse have built a seemingly impossible bridge. Even if we don’t reach everyone, and reach a few at a time, we are still making the gap smaller.
Ask yourself a question? What will happen if you open your heart? It’s like I’ve said – if you close your heart and mind, you miss out on knowing some pretty amazing people.
Love is all around us.
If you or anyone you know has any kind of cervical or lumbar spinal issues, the staff at Seton Brain & Spine Institute has everything you need. It’s a process, but very necessary! I had my 2nd neck surgery done there, but Dr. Eeric Truumees did this 3rd surgery, and he’s simply amazing, right along with his staff, Sarah, Ariel & Amy. Sarah never ceased to make me feel hopeful while I was in the hospital, and let me tell you, Dr. Truumees comes and checks on you, too! Great staff. Great crew. I recommend all the different doctors at that organization!